23 - Babylon and the Destruction of Judah

"So the Lord brought the king of Babylon against them. The Babylonians killed Judah's young men, even chasing after them into the Temple. They had no pity on the people, killing both young men and young women, the old and the infirm. God handed all of them over to Nebuchadnezzar."
2 Chronicles 36:17

Genocide, wanton destruction, forced exodus...somehow easier to stomach when it's two chubby babies fighting!
(source: Nebuchadnezzar fights Zedekiah, Zwiefalten Monastery; Germany) 

This is it! Our last episode with the ancient Hebrews! Everything is coming together here, and while great empires are battling it out, tiny Judah is struggling to survive. I don't want to spoil anything, but it's not looking good. Oh shoot, the title is one big spoiler. Nuts! Ok, ok, umm ignore the title and look at this medieval picture of an angel saving Jerusalem from Sennacherib. Yay they win! Nothing bad ever happens again in Jerusalem!
...
sigh.

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Music Credits
Premium Music: Epic Cinematic Orchestral Oriental Arabic Middle East Impressive Cultures Theme Soundtrack

Resources
Sennacherib relief
Good illustration of the famous Assyrian siege engine
The earthen ramp built by the Assyrians at Lachish
BRILLIANT site for primary sources used here.
Another excellent website, with lots of pictures and primary sources!
The ruins of Nineveh (Google Maps)
Ishtar Gate built by Nebuchadnezzar
Cylinder of Nebuchadnezzar
A little New Yorker cartoon to smile about after the episode ;)

21 - A Kingdom Divided

"And the king answered the people roughly, and forsook the advice given him by the elders. He followed the advice of the young men and said,
'My father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke. My father also chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions!'"
1 Kings 12:13-14

I'm sorry! I'll never have a vanilla milkshake with my ham sandwich again! Just not the Boo Box!
source: Hook 

By the way that Bible passage up top loses its wickedness when you realize that 'scorpions' refers to a type of whip similar to a cat o' nine tails. It's got knots throughout the throngs to better flay the skin than just a regular whip. Mmmhmm! FASCINATING. Alright anyway, sooooo just two kings were able to hold the kingdom of Israel and Judah together before the whole thing fell apart. I mean it's easy for us to use hindsight and point out what went wrong but really - what did you think was going to happen when you threatened the lives of half your subjects? Genius.

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Music Credits
Pharaoh's Daughter - Hagar

Resources
Territory of the two kingdoms and neighboring states
The Kurkh Monolith, referencing King Ahab's contribution to the coalition against Shalmaneser III
The Black Obelisk, depicting Jehu in submission to Shalmaneser III
Tel Al Rimah Stele, Adad-Nirari III referencing King Joash

20 - King Solomon

" 'Your servant is in the midst of your chosen people, a great many too numerous to count. Give me a discerning heart to judge your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern your great people?'
The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this and said unto him,
'Since you have asked for wisdom and not for long life or wealth or for the death your enemies I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart such as no one else has had or ever will!'"
1 Kings 3:6-12

It's a freakin King Solomon teddy bear! Look at his adorable scales!  It's like he's judging
whether to hug you or snuggle you!
(source: http://www.sunny-bears.com/inv/hermann+spielwaren/king-solomon-teddy-bear-19514-4.php)

Did you know that Solomon, known as Suleiman in the Quran, had a giant flying carpet, could communicate with animals, and knew how to control the djinn to do his bidding? THAT IS SO COOL. And so I present to you two Solomons. One proposes to chop babies in half to settle small court claims, the other flies around the Middle East essentially accompanied by genies. How many other world leaders can claim to be that awesome?

None. None leaders.

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Music Credits
Michael Levy - Shalom Chavarim

Resources

The many paintings of The Judgment of Solomon
Raphael
Valentin de Boulogne
Rubens (love the anachronistic dress!)
Giorgione (holding court outside? eh, whatever)
Dore

The complete Kebra Nagast - Amazing!!
An incredible depiction of the inner sanctum of Solomon's temple - note they didn't include the purple veil though.
Solomon's temple from the side
3D viewpoint complete with surrounding wall and courtyard
Another viewpoint of the temple
I have to say, I have NO idea what any of this means...but it was so interesting to me that I had to include it.
Evidence of Solomon's wall?
Solomon's Throne

The Queen of Sheba
Surprised to see a white Queen of Sheba? Curious as to why artists throughout the ages would make an Ethiopian queen pretty darn pale? Don't read too much into it, anachronism is fairly rampant in early art. There's no malicious intentions here, just a very narrow world view.
http://www.bonzasheila.com/art/archives/jun09/29.html
http://www.metmuseum.org/Collections/search-the-collections/70005862
Without knowing these two are Solomon and the Queen, one could be forgiven for assuming they're some English lord and lady. Again, in 1500 Strasbourg, Germany, I don't think they were deliberately imposing racism into their works. These people barely knew the value of soap, let alone the importance of ethnographic sensitivities.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b1/Horse-sheba.jpg
Here we go! From an Ethiopian fresco, the Queen rides off with what is assumed to be St. George behind her. Note the clear Ethiopian/Southwest Arabian features. If you want to know what she probably looked like, here she is in all her stately beauty. Stunning!

19 - King David

"David sang, 'The Lord is my rock, my fortress in whom I take refuge. I called to him and I was saved from my enemies. Waves of death engulfed me, rivers of destruction assailed me, the ropes of Sheol entangled me, (and) the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the Lord and from his temple he heard my cry.'"

-2 Samuel 22:1-7

Who needs armor in battle when you've got a fancy new hat!
(source: Donatello's David)

David is the second of the Israelite kings and aside from an overly active libido, he's a LOT more stable than Saul, no offense big guy. Actually all things considered, David seems like a really fun guy to hang out with! Dancing, singing, drinking, he's the original party animal! It's a shame that so much stuff happens to him but such is the price famous historical people pay for being famous.


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Music Credits
Michael Levy - Hava Nagila

Resources
The Kingdom of Israel under David